Remember that time you had to evict gypsies from a luxury Manhattan apartment?
Oh. Well let me remind you. That happened. It’s that old children’s story. If you leave an unsigned lease under your pillow, you will wake and a gypsy will be squatting in one of your rental units.
If someone seems “off,” they are off for a reason: Because they are off. Read the signs. When these people came into the office to rent an apartment, it was clear that something was slightly awry with them. However real estate 101 taught you, you can’t say no to anyone. So you said yes. They had the lease ready to go. They were going to move in and…POOF they disappeared. There goes the deal. Damnit. And they were so nice.
But two weeks later you get a call…they are signing a deal with your company through another agent. Like magic they have resurfaced. In an even more luxurious apartment. I want to resurface in a nicer apartment—on the UES near Central Park. How can I do that?
Answer: Become a professional con-artist.
Ugh. I don’t have time for that. I work a 9 to 5.
Gypsies are real. And no, they don’t carry tamborines, they carry puppies and high school children. They are the modern day Esmereldas (disney reference), parading around as Wall Street tycoons. In reality, no, they don’t own 5 companies. And no, they don’t make more than Donald Trump. Don’t be fooled. But they will give you a story. And a fake address. And one of the several names they go by.
A cat has nine lives in lifetime if successful A gypsy has nine apartments in one month if unsuccessful. 1 down, 8 to go. Getting them out, well, that was magic. So good luck New York. They’re your clients now.
Don’t believe me…then listen to Cher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOSZwEwl_1Q